FARNINGHAM

KENT

JUNE 5 2008

Despite the proliferation of Police officers dotted around the taped off crime scene,  a plethora of television crews attempted to breach the cordon,  clammering over the finest of detail in an effort to capture the killer shot,  the vital clue as to the nature of this most bizarre of events.

Detective Inspector Monroe scratched his sunburned forehead,  clearly bemused by the gravity of the situation and eager to establish a lead,  from his team of phorensic investigators now examining the area for the minutest of clues.

Last day on the job after thirty years loyal service,  and all hope of a quiet day to bow out on,  seemingly gone.

Larger than life,  and twice as ugly,  Bob phelps,  the genial pub landlord,  carefully combed the single wayward whisp of hair clinging for it's life to his reddish balding head,  and gappy toothed,  smiled into Channel five's camera lens as the perky Blonde reporter asked him a few trivial questions.

" Well,  it was the strangest thing. One minute,  the place was full of happy families,  kids throwing empty pint glasses at the ducks,  mums and dads seated at the tables having ordered sandwiches and lunch time food and drink,  served fresh and tasty at a reasonable price,  that's our motto you see.....  a typical summer day really, and the next....   a blinding ray of light,  like a beam from high above,  a few muffled screams and nothing....  all gone.  Everyone outside,  simply vanished into thin air "

A sudden shout from the distant perimeter of the field from a kneeling Police cadet, drafted in with colleaues to comb the ground for evidence.  Monroe raced over to where the lad was situated and took from his juvenile, sweaty hand,  a mobile phone, and a small piece of paper with some scawled writing on it.

"   Hmmm..... The call ended at one thirty five,  that ties in exactly with the witnesses statements  "   Monroe examined the piece of paper,  with the words 'God Help us' written almost illegibly in black ink.

" But if there was a blinding ray of light and, kaboom!,  then how did someone have the time to write this plea for help? "

A phorensic investigator appeared from behind Monroe,  almost making him jump as he touched the Inspectors arm

" It's A time vortex, Jim,  but not as we know it!  To the outside viewer,  it happened in the blink of an eye, but to the victim, it was slow,  and oh so painful.  I saw that on a rerun of the original sixties 'Star Trek ' series last week.   Bones discovered this time Vortex and Captain Kirk didn't believe him at first,  and Spock being a vulcan and all........"

" Don't be a pillock all your life,  Phil ",  Monroe quipped,  as he shook his head.   "What have you got for me?"

" Jim,  we've combed the area and found nothing.  Even the plates, cutlery and beer glasses have gone.  It's freaky.  I mean,   we've found evidence of some sort of scorch marks over parts of the area,  as if a bright light or intensive heat damaged the grass.  Alien abduction is all very well and dandy,  but unless the little green bug eyed fellas are planning to start their own parallel universe 'Little chef',  why take the cutlery!   Now do you believe me about the Time vortex?    It's illogical, Capp'n,  I need more power,  he's dead Jim, make it so ....... "

Monroe walked away without hearing the conclusion of his Phorensic officers best Star Trek gags,  his eyes focusing upon a young distraught girl,  being wrapped in a blanket and comforted by junior officers by the rivers edge.

" We found a survivor guvnor, crouched in the water tunnel under the bridge,  she claims she escaped the beam and saw everything "

Monroe clicked open his mobile phone and pressed speed dial,  gesturing to his officers that he would join them shortly.

"  Hello Helen,  just thought I'd let you know,  it looks like it's going to be rather a long day.  Can we take a rain check on dinner this evening.........  "